Are you okay? Are we ever.

 I find this question worse than the words "I am fine"

We often ask this question when we think the other person is not doing well and we want to help. But why don't we ask this to the person who is smiling? I mean it sounds crazy, right? Asking someone who is happy "Are you okay". They will think I am mocking them.

None of us is okay and that's the truth of life. If you think hard, you'll always find something to be happy about, something to be sad about, something to be angry about, and something to be grateful for. It is only when one of these things take up more space, the intensity of the emotion caused by them makes up our mood.

The last few days have been a disaster yet some days were nothing short of a dream. This genuinely confused me that at one point I didn't even know how to feel and maybe at that point I felt okay. The good cut the bad and vice versa and I was left in a neutral state. It sucked big time and that's when I realised to never say to anyone that "It will be okay"! 

You don't want to be okay, you want to be happy, sad, excited... you want to FEEL, be SEEN, be HEARD. And if someone tells you that you can't always feel something, tell them you don't feel good around people who tell you this and walk away, no seriously. People around you affect your emotions in such a huge manner. 

I don't know if you feel as deeply as I. If you do, isn't it a blessing yet such a curse? One small thing tips you off but one small thing can make your day as well.

At one (low) point in my life, being strong meant you have to be cold. I was always "okay" since I didn't allow myself to feel anything too deeply. I think it's a coping mechanism when you get tired of intense emotions especially the heavy negative ones. You shut off, become a person with this need to become self-reliant and to always be OKAY with everything and everyone. 

I am not telling you to start being extra emotional suddenly, all I am saying is don't make the mistake I made. It is alright to NOT BE OKAY if someone said something to you which bothered you if you read something which disturbed you if you get treated a way you didn't expect to... 

The best part of it all is, when you stop forcing yourself to be okay with things, you'll stop tolerating things you don't deserve as well. You will scream and shout when you're happy, you will cry when you are sad, you will tell people you love them, you will cut off people who bring you down, and you will not shut off any emotion or thought of yours because you will finally understand what an honour it is TO FEEL than TO BE OKAY. 

Comments

  1. Dhruv MNovember 15, 2021 at 12:31 PM

    Reading this and feeling 'I am really not ok!!��", had a bad day and couldn't tell anyone,this article was much needed.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. mihika14November 15, 2021 at 12:56 PM

      I am glad it helped, tomorrow you shall feel amazing!

      Delete
    2. Dhruv MNovember 15, 2021 at 1:01 PM

      Thanks,I wish you too have a great time ahead

      Delete
  2. mihika14November 15, 2021 at 12:56 PM

    couldn't agree more! and thankyou :)

    ReplyDelete
  3. UnknownNovember 15, 2021 at 7:16 PM

    Life is a sine wave ups n downs are integral part of it.dont get deeply attached to anything.maintain a balance and u will sail through quietly.
    Be strong be brave and leave the rest to almighty .God Bless you always

    ReplyDelete
  4. Shreshth AroraNovember 16, 2021 at 12:48 AM

    Wrote some Notes and Questions on the blog.

    1. Emotions are a spectrum the ones that are high in intensity come forward.

    2. Feeling is elemental part of human experience and it makes us who we are, the flavours and rides around it may differ and be completely subjective but it what makes it unique right ?

    3. To feel deeply means you care and are highly sensitive which is a necessary trait to actualise the gravity/depth of situation. It's a sign of having High Emotional Quotient.

    4. Don’t we all build coping mechanisms it makes the life a bit easier to go on but I too face the problem of being too self reliant and being OKAY if other people drop out of my plans cause I didn’t expect them anyway to. Its good to ask for help though, especially when feeling overwhelmed not everything is supposed to be a one-person job.

    5. Once one starts to understand what they feel to deserve emotionally one should start prioritising what is healthier and what is not.

    6. The meaning of being TO BE OKAY is kind of subjective but the inherent feeling of being OKAY is very objective ?

    ReplyDelete

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